An ode and birthday present to Slick Willy from Russ Vaughn, from Old War Dogs:

A New Willy

(Willy, British slang for the male sexual appendage; also a diminutive form of William, e.g. Slick Willy)

Now don’t think me foolish, or just being silly,
When I say that the Democrats need a new Willy.
Their Willy’s gone soft amid fortune and fame,
He’s no longer up, standing tall for the game.
This Willy’s content with the new life he’s found,
Able now to engage in full time fooling ‘round.
Book deals and speech fees have made life so frilly
He’s lost his hard edge, their once potent Willy.

The Left wants a Willy to take on the Right;
A Willy they know will be up for the fight.
They thought theirs was bigger in 2004,
Their John had a Willy with scars from the war;
But the soccer moms voted for ol’ Georgie boy,
Turned on not at all by Teresa’s sex toy.
So again I must say and insist it’s not silly,
If Dems wanna win, they need a new Willy.

Yep Willy’s turned sixty, for Dems a sad day,
With no new young Willies yet ready to play.
Al Gore’s such a bore, so petty and prissy;
Their pretty boy Edwards comes off as a sissy;
And Kerry proved last time he’s just a big wimp;
Yep, for Dems it appears all their Willies are limp.
Their butt’s in a barrel headed straight for Niagara,
Doctor Dean should prescribe pre-election Viagra.

Dems need a firm Willy for the coming election,
One sticking out front, pointing out their direction;
But the Mooresoros Moonbats will take a hard stand,
Demanding a Willy they can squeeze in their hand.
Right now they are thinking a hard-as-nails Hillie,
May be all they have to replace their old Willy;
Not quite the real deal, but hey, what’s the harm?
Like a dildo she’ll do, just lacking the charm.

But who wants our country run by such sillies,
As folks who can’t tell their Hill’s from their Willies?

Russ Vaughn

Happy Birthday, Mr. Lewinski… happy birthday to you….